


and its for you

by rosas



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, M/M, its short, johnny is the best boyfriend, model! jaehyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 10:40:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18519766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosas/pseuds/rosas
Summary: Jaehyun can only seek the comfort of the one he loves the most.





	and its for you

Jaehyun bit his lip in an attempt to swallow his sobs. His tears threatened to slip from the corners of his eyes. He tried to blink them away, staring up at the ceiling to prevent them from coming out. He closed his eyes and nodded to whatever the photographer had told him. 

He never received criticism well. Not when he had no energy and felt worthless altogether. So when he heard that his poses weren’t ‘good enough’ or that his face just didn’t cut it, he didn’t know what to do. 

His manager eventually stepped in, attempting to quiet down the photograph. He was frustrated. Jaehyun understands. It’s not easy working with a model who just wasn’t meeting their standards. 

His hands trembled as he typed into his phone. He was taken back to redo his makeup after the photographer's fit. He considered texting Johnny—his one and only— but decided against it. He locked his phone and closed his eyes, awaiting the dab of eyeshadow on his eyelids. 

After the last set of photos, he received all kinds of praises. He bowed at everyone, thanking them for their patience and their kindness. He clapped along with others once the end had been announced. He tensed as the photographer had spoken.

_“Jung Jaehyun! Perhaps you’re not so useless! Took you tons of my memory to get your shit together,”_

Jaehyun stood cold. Anger and shame washed through his entire body. There were awkward laughs coming from the staff. Jaehyun could only smile and thank the photographer with a forced bow. His manager packed his things and led Jaehyun out of the set.

Jaehyun couldn’t bother to cry about it on the car ride back to his home. He was given the okay to go back home at least. He stares outside the window, envying the people with a smile on their face. Springtime had just settled and tons of couples were outside once again, enjoying the nice weather and scenery.

Jaehyun sighs. Becoming a model has ruined his hope of enjoying his adult life. It paid and he was grateful that his looks were appreciated. Jaehyun, however, despised the time and belittling he took. He’s always apologized to Johnny for his lack of enthusiasm every time he returned home. It took so much energy out of him that the only thing he can look forward to is sleeping. Not being with his boyfriend, but _sleep._

He thanks his manager and the rest of his team as they drop him off home. He waves them off and walks in his own home. He removes his shoes and sets them by the door before stepping in. Relief courses through him. Rather, the rest of his emotions build up as he meets eyes with Johnny.

Before he can even greet him, a sob escapes his lips. Johnny raises his brows and drops whatever he’s doing to hold his arms out for Jaehyun. The tears that Jaehyun had been holding back since the morning slipped out of his eyes. 

Johnny holds Jaehyun tight. Enough to reassure him, to tell him everything Jaehyun needed to hear. Johnny pets his hair, mumbling every word Jaehyun could possibly need. Jaehyun continues to sob into Johnny’s chest.

They stay like that for minutes. Right in front of the door. Eventually Johnny pulls away and cups Jaehyun’s face. Jaehyun places his own hand on top of Johnny’s, avoiding his eyes. 

“Hey, don’t do that,” Johnny whispers, “You know I don’t like it when you don’t look at me.” Jaehyun looks up at his boyfriend, tears springing again as he meets eyes with him. 

“It sucked today.” Jaehyun mumbles out.

“You say that every time you have a shoot.” Johnny replies. Jaehyun nodded.

“He called me useless. Said I wasn’t good enough,” Jaehyun continued, “I don’t know how to please them. I’m never good enough for them,”

“Baby, hey… You know what I tell you? You’re the best, you always are. Just because some guy behind the camera gives you shit, it doesn’t mean otherwise.” Johnny tried to reassure. Jaehyun shook his head and stepped back, removing Johnny’s hands from his cheeks. 

“I don’t know anymore. I don’t even think I want to do modeling anymore. It’s not what I want.” Johnny presses his lips in a line. Jaehyun wipes his tears, sniffling.

“Then what do you want, baby?” 

“You. I want to be with you. I don’t want to come home and upset you. I hate having to come to you crying all the time,” Jaehyun admits, “I hate how tired I am when I get home. We don’t do anything anymore. And the worst part is that I can’t even quit!” Jaehyun feels himself tremble again. 

“That contract was three years. Baby, Johnny, we’re going onto our second year. I have this year and the next, then I’m done! But, _god._ I just want it over.” Johnny reaches out to hold Jaehyun’s hand. He’s careful as he brings his hand up to kiss Jaehyun’s knuckles. 

“Let’s try not to think about it so much. When’s your next shoot?” Johnny asks. Jaehyun thinks.

“I’m on a walk this weekend. Some collection for a local designer.” Jaehyun responds. 

“That means you’re free the next two days, right?” Jaehyun nods. He can feel his boyfriend’s lips lift into a smile.

“Let’s go out tomorrow.” Jaehyun looks up as his boyfriend. He can’t help but smile himself. He’s always adored his boyfriend’s smile. It made his heart race even after their four years together. 

“Give me a kiss.” Johnny giggles and leans down, capturing Jaehyun’s lips. Jaehyun wraps his arms around Johnny’s neck, pulling him close to him. When they part, Jaehyun lays his head on Johnny’s chest.

“Baby, let’s go to bed. You’re tired, right?” Johnny asks to which Jaehyun replied with a ‘yes’. Johnny makes sure to turn off their lights before they make their way toward their bedroom. 

Johnny waits for Jaehyun to get ready for bed. He spends the time talking about his own day and cracking a joke here and there. He hears Jaehyun laugh from the bathroom at one of his jokes. 

When Jaehyun returns to their bedroom, Johnny pulls Jaehyun into another kiss, mumbling “I love you” against his lips. Jaehyun smiles and repeats his words. 

They make themselves comfortable, Johnny holding Jaehyun against his chest. The way that makes Jaehyun feel safe in his arms. Jaehyun sighs, feeling the tension release from his body. 

He knows this won’t be the last breakdown he’ll experience. He’s always returned to Johnny in tears and Johnny always receives him with the same love and adoration. He makes a note to show his thanks for Johnny, just like he always does.

Before Jaehyun drifts off to sleep he counts the stars behind his eyes. The brightest star he can count is Johnny.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this was written at 3am in a surge of motivation. thank you for reading this. it’s also really unedited so any mistakes is due to my tired brain. <3


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